Lil' Nipper

I've learned in last six months or so that when my daughter goes quiet, it's time for me to see what she's up to.

Sometimes I forget this, however, in the stupor of blissful silence.

Last week, Buttercup had the croup. It was a long week for both of us. Nap times for the first couple of days were pretty much non-existent. But, since she wasn't sleeping much at night, I kept trying to put her down for naps so she could get caught up on rest (and because she was really CRANKY). Chaos would ensue. But after the third or so time, I was too tired to care. I snuck downstairs and turned off the baby monitor so I could have a bit of peace and quiet.

Apparently my daughter has found ways of taking out her aggression when Mommy doesn't respond to her fussing:



Her sicky wrath was not only taken out on her crib last week, however. Does anyone notice anything different about one particular crayon in this picture (like, the red one?)



Apparently Mommy needs to pay more attention to her daughter when she wants to get out of her chair and stop coloring. Even when it's the sixth time in the course of two hours that I've taken her out of the chair, just to have her climb right back in. Of course, Buttercup might just have pica. Either way, I was really concerned when I saw how much of tip was gone from this last picture . . .



Fortunately, I found the tip smooshed into the carpet later on that day. I think it's the first time I've been relieved to find crayon smashed into my carpet. I was starting to think that Buttercup had made a meal out of varnish and wax.

The Importance of Naptime (for me)

What can change my beautiful baby girl from this:




to this?


(and yes, I feel sufficiently guilty for doing this to my daughter's picture. And for giggling a little while I did it)



No nap.

Buttercup is (*knock on wood*) a tremendous sleeper at night. She generally gets up around 8 a.m. (which is lovely for me) and goes to bed around 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. (which is also lovely for me). During the time in-between, she generally takes an hour-and-a-half to a two-hour nap.

Not quite so much lately.

Buttercup figured out a pretty remarkable strategy a couple of weeks ago: If she poops half an hour-45 minutes after I put her down for a nap (regardless of what time it is that I put her in her crib), I will come in and change her diaper (I tried not to for a couple of times but she just kept mewling at me until I gave up). She can pretend to be happy and oh-so-awake and Mommy, confused and delighted by all the hugs and happy squeals she was getting, would let her get up and go back to playing.

This lasted about three days before Mommy caught on, and about another week until Mommy had convinced Buttercup that while she would come and put a clean diaper on her, it would not deter her from getting her nap. Back in the crib Buttercup would go, with a distinct "WTF?" look on her face. There was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth for a bit, but I held firm. Because not only do I prefer the first picture to the second, but (and this part is a secret):

I still like to take a nap, too.

Amazing what a little extra selfish incentive will do for those boundaries, huh? ;)

Why "without a net?"

I thought for a while about what I wanted to call this blog. I've started other blogs in the past, but wanted to dedicate a space to my daily challenges and moments of enlightenment specifically as it deals with being a mom in a rather unique place philosophy-wise. Or maybe I'm really not all that unique, and that's just me wanting to feel special. :) But either way, I think it's a good goal.

The image of being without a net might bring on a vision of having no support structure around me, but that's not true. I'd be ridiculously ungrateful if I didn't recognize my husband, his parents, my parents, close friends, and wonderful professionals who have provided me with support, help and understanding on days I really felt like I had nothing left to give. I weekly have a day (or two, or three) where I wonder if I truly have it "in" me to be a mom, and I have come more and more to believe that it really *does* take a village to raise a child (particularly one as gregarious and determined as my Buttercup is). However, throughout most of the day most days of the week, it's just her and me, and I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility to raise her in such a way that she will be a happy, productive, contributing member of society who has learned to direct her lightning-infused spirit in ways that will shape her community for good. I wish her to see the beauty in life, to recognize God's hand in it, and to have many of the wonderful lessons I did growing up Mormon - but without the conflicting, sometimes unintentionally devastating effects they had.

(Disclaimer: This is not a blog to bash Mormonism, and I wish in no way to deter my good LDS friends from their chosen paths if it brings them peace and contentment. I have no axe to grind against the Mormon church as a whole. It has brought me many blessings in my life.)

I'm not sure exactly where this blog is destined to go, but I'm looking forward to the journey in getting there. Many of my posts will probably deal with everyday Mommyhood things, from activities to preschools to playdates to television. :) But I hope to search a bit more in the process of all of these things to think about what overall messages and habits I'm helping my daughter to shape about women, men, being a mom, God, church, and all the rest of it.